Supporting Children Through High-Conflict Divorce
I work with children in Los Angeles coping with the emotional challenges of high-conflict divorce and family transitions.
When parents are in ongoing conflict, children often carry a heavy emotional burden. They may feel caught in the middle, pressured to take sides, or unsure where it is safe to express their feelings. Therapy can provide a supportive space where children can process their experiences and develop skills to navigate difficult family dynamics.
Children living in high-conflict divorce situations may experience anxiety, confusion, anger, or sadness. They often feel caught in the middle of ongoing tension between parents. Children in high-conflict divorce frequently experience loyalty conflicts, feeling pressure—sometimes subtle, sometimes explicit—to align with one parent over the other. Some children try to manage the tension by suppressing their own feelings, while others may show distress through behavior, withdrawal, or emotional outbursts. Even when parents are trying their best, the ongoing stress of conflict between adults can leave children feeling responsible for things that are not theirs to carry.
What High-Conflict Divorce Can Feel Like for Children
A Child-Centered Approach
In my work with children navigating high-conflict divorce, therapy is centered on the child’s emotional needs rather than the conflict between parents. The goal is to help children develop a sense of stability, safety, and emotional clarity. Therapy may focus on helping children understand and express their feelings, reduce anxiety, and strengthen their ability to cope with stressful situations.
Children often need help making sense of complex family dynamics and managing the emotions that come with them. Through therapy, children can develop skills for emotional regulation, communication, and self-understanding. My approach integrates developmental understanding, attachment-informed therapy, and when appropriate, play-based techniques that allow children to process experiences in ways that feel natural and supportive.
Supporting Emotional Regulation and Resilience
Parent involvement in therapy can be an important part of supporting a child’s progress. The level of parent collaboration I recommend depends on the family dynamics and the needs of the child.
In situations involving high levels of parental conflict, my role is to provide therapy centered on the child’s emotional well-being. Because ongoing conflict between parents can make it difficult for a child to feel safe in therapy, I typically recommend that parents seek their own support—such as individual therapy, co-parent counseling, or mediation—to address adult concerns.
In families where conflict is lower, parent collaboration may be more involved. I may work closely with parents to help them better understand their child’s emotional needs and to support changes at home.
In all cases, I provide child-centered treatment updates so parents understand how their child is progressing and how they can support their child’s emotional well-being.
Working With Parents
When working with children whose parents are separated or divorced, my role is to remain focused on the child’s emotional well-being. Therapy is not a forum for determining fault, evaluating either parent, or resolving disputes between adults. Instead, it provides a safe and supportive space where the child can express their experiences, make sense of difficult emotions, and develop skills to cope with stress.